This week at daily headspa we were blogging about "West." We made space for it today, which is what happens with the topics at dh on Sundays, with a poem by Paul.
I thought about posting a picture of a sunset with the poem, but I was hoping people would picture their own.
However, sunsets are beautiful things to share, so I've posted a few on flickr from a recent trip to Queensland. Not the most fabulous sunset shots ever, but a variety and each with a quiet beauty, I think.
Here's one, and a link to the flickr gallery.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
line of drops and ant
Thursday, September 10, 2009
my personal 9-11 trivia
On the day, I ate breakfast at my kitchen table in Cleveland. The table was a family antique; I had brought it up from Orlando when I separated from my husband and set up my own, new life in Ohio. I wish I could remember what I ate.
The next year, on the anniversary, I woke up and opened the door of the little homemade cabin on a tiny rock island off the coast of Vancouver Island, BC and smelled the Pacific ocean, just a few steps away. I'd found the vacation rental on the internet. A friend had asked, after I'd paid the full payment and not just a deposit, sight unseen, "But how do you know it really exists?" It did and I wrote in the guest book about 9/11.
Another year I stood in the wind looking at the Irish Sea, my feet sinking into the white sand of a small Scottish island.
The next year after that, the person I changed my life with the same year we all realized, like so many people in the world had been forced to know before us, that life is short - well, we were each tethered to an ipod, a dual jack with two sets of headphones. We listened to Bruce Springsteen's "The Rising" and marveled at the way the central Australian desert hills looked like a cityscape, but rounded.
This year, I woke up and made a cup of tea. Organic English breakfast tea, the same tea I drink every morning. I wrote my morning pages. Later I might plant those snake beans someone gave me a couple of days ago. Some gardening would be good.
And at 11:00 a.m., I'll bring some people together for a meeting. A simple lease will be signed, but it's the parties to the lease that have me reflecting this morning. We'll be there, the representatives of the non-aboriginal church. And they will be there, the representatives of the aboriginal corporation. They will sign a lease to use a building on land that was theirs. We will accept their payment for the use of a building that we built on land that was theirs. The terms are generous, well beyond fair and yet. and yet. There is still an element of us and them and a sad inherent irony. My 9-11 anniversary hope is that somehow this is "power over" inching its way towards shared empowerment.
The next year, on the anniversary, I woke up and opened the door of the little homemade cabin on a tiny rock island off the coast of Vancouver Island, BC and smelled the Pacific ocean, just a few steps away. I'd found the vacation rental on the internet. A friend had asked, after I'd paid the full payment and not just a deposit, sight unseen, "But how do you know it really exists?" It did and I wrote in the guest book about 9/11.
Another year I stood in the wind looking at the Irish Sea, my feet sinking into the white sand of a small Scottish island.
The next year after that, the person I changed my life with the same year we all realized, like so many people in the world had been forced to know before us, that life is short - well, we were each tethered to an ipod, a dual jack with two sets of headphones. We listened to Bruce Springsteen's "The Rising" and marveled at the way the central Australian desert hills looked like a cityscape, but rounded.
This year, I woke up and made a cup of tea. Organic English breakfast tea, the same tea I drink every morning. I wrote my morning pages. Later I might plant those snake beans someone gave me a couple of days ago. Some gardening would be good.
And at 11:00 a.m., I'll bring some people together for a meeting. A simple lease will be signed, but it's the parties to the lease that have me reflecting this morning. We'll be there, the representatives of the non-aboriginal church. And they will be there, the representatives of the aboriginal corporation. They will sign a lease to use a building on land that was theirs. We will accept their payment for the use of a building that we built on land that was theirs. The terms are generous, well beyond fair and yet. and yet. There is still an element of us and them and a sad inherent irony. My 9-11 anniversary hope is that somehow this is "power over" inching its way towards shared empowerment.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Happy B'day, PA Lutes
We're talking about trivia on daily headspa so here's a little family trivia.
My grandfather, my mother's dad, was born on September 9, 1909. He didn't live to celebrate this special birthday, but we remember him.
Philip Arthur Lutes, here's to ya.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Routines I have loved
Routine is our topic for this week on daily headspa. I have a love/hate relationship with routine. Some routines make me feel safe and productive. Some make me feel trapped and like a stupid fool who can’t get off the wheel, out of the cage, out of her own head.
And some routines I have truly loved.
I loved the routine of my dad waking me up at 5:30 in the morning every day during my last year of high school so we could go for a run together. I didn’t act like I loved it then, I was down right mean and ornery on those mornings until after the run with the endorphins had kicked in (and I had run circles around the old man). But now that he’s gone and my knees are gone, I look back on that time as one of my favorites.
I loved the routine of washing dishes in the kitchen at Iona. Keeping my hands going while the conversations rambled and ranged from sex to politics to faith to someone’s grandmother’s black forest cake recipe. I loved the routine of calling up the suppliers to the “wee island,” having to chat for a while before placing the order; getting to know the women and men on the other end of the line slowly through a bit of banter and talk about the weather and the ferry crossings.
And right now I love the routine of evenings here in Darwin, when the sun finally stops strangling all of us, dropping us into a breezy patch of shade where we can sigh a survivor’s sigh, “Whew, made it,” and celebrate the fact that our hearts didn’t explode nor our eyeballs pop out in the heat of the day.
Although I would still say that I prefer adventure to routine, these are some of the routines that give life rather than suck it dry. And for that, I am routinely grateful.
And some routines I have truly loved.
I loved the routine of my dad waking me up at 5:30 in the morning every day during my last year of high school so we could go for a run together. I didn’t act like I loved it then, I was down right mean and ornery on those mornings until after the run with the endorphins had kicked in (and I had run circles around the old man). But now that he’s gone and my knees are gone, I look back on that time as one of my favorites.
I loved the routine of washing dishes in the kitchen at Iona. Keeping my hands going while the conversations rambled and ranged from sex to politics to faith to someone’s grandmother’s black forest cake recipe. I loved the routine of calling up the suppliers to the “wee island,” having to chat for a while before placing the order; getting to know the women and men on the other end of the line slowly through a bit of banter and talk about the weather and the ferry crossings.
And right now I love the routine of evenings here in Darwin, when the sun finally stops strangling all of us, dropping us into a breezy patch of shade where we can sigh a survivor’s sigh, “Whew, made it,” and celebrate the fact that our hearts didn’t explode nor our eyeballs pop out in the heat of the day.
Although I would still say that I prefer adventure to routine, these are some of the routines that give life rather than suck it dry. And for that, I am routinely grateful.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
dancer's perfection
On daily headspa this week we're posting about Practice. When I think of practice and its rigors, dancing and dancers immediately spring to mind. Although dance is one of the most accessible forms of expression - one can move to the rhythm of their own drums - the art of dance is so incredibly demanding.
Who should come up in these thoughts but Michael Jackson and we have shamelessly posted about him today. Well, about practice but with MJ as a reference point. Serendipitously, it led me to a quote about practice from Martha Graham, one of the greatest names of modern dance. She said, "Practice is a mean of inviting the perfection desired."
I'd heard of her but wanted to know at least a little more and found this in the wikipedia page about her:
And this quote from her:
I'm not a dancer. Maybe I'm not even an artist. But I resonate with "a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive..."
If my art is to enjoy myself, to truly engage in this one wild, precious life (thanks, Mary Oliver) that is mine...then I invite its perfection with daily practice.
Who should come up in these thoughts but Michael Jackson and we have shamelessly posted about him today. Well, about practice but with MJ as a reference point. Serendipitously, it led me to a quote about practice from Martha Graham, one of the greatest names of modern dance. She said, "Practice is a mean of inviting the perfection desired."
I'd heard of her but wanted to know at least a little more and found this in the wikipedia page about her:
She invented a new language of movement, and used it to reveal the passion, the rage and the ecstasy common to human experience.
And this quote from her:
There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."
I'm not a dancer. Maybe I'm not even an artist. But I resonate with "a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive..."
If my art is to enjoy myself, to truly engage in this one wild, precious life (thanks, Mary Oliver) that is mine...then I invite its perfection with daily practice.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
unsticking with giggles
Today on daily headspa we posted a video of some kids in Finland making sticky buns. It was about having fun with the topic of "stuck" and we were thinking sticky thoughts. But what I really loved was the giggling. Now that's a way to get unstuck. Have you giggled today?
Thursday, July 9, 2009
something completely different
On Thursdays at daily headspa we aim to do something with the weekly topic, which is "stuck." Saturdays are meant to be fun, but feeling as stuck as I do I couldn't wait to have a little fun. We posted this sketch from Monty Python about two bored airplane pilots having a go at the passengers over the intercom. The post is titled after a signature phrase from the troupe - "and now for something completely different."
Do you ever feel like doing something completely different just to get yourself unstuck?
It's what I do when I'm feeling stuck sometimes, because "stuck" in my experience is usually equal to "bored." So I bust out at the seams. If I can't untie my hands, I start working with my elbows, you know what I mean?
The worst case scenario is when I'm not in a position to bust out even just a little - I let social norms restrict my bid for unstuckness and freedom from boredom.
I've been in a workshop for two days. It wouldn't have mattered much if it had been the best workshop in the universe, me sitting in a circle of people talking for two days makes me feel my entire life is on hold and I'll never break free. How many times did I want to say the stupid thing, but held back or said something sensible "for the good of the order." Meanwhile, what about my dis-order, the feeling of holding back wild horses all the time. Sigh.
The trick is to know what is completely different and socially acceptable, or at least the consequences of which are acceptable to oneself. A life's work perhaps?
Do you ever feel like doing something completely different just to get yourself unstuck?
It's what I do when I'm feeling stuck sometimes, because "stuck" in my experience is usually equal to "bored." So I bust out at the seams. If I can't untie my hands, I start working with my elbows, you know what I mean?
The worst case scenario is when I'm not in a position to bust out even just a little - I let social norms restrict my bid for unstuckness and freedom from boredom.
I've been in a workshop for two days. It wouldn't have mattered much if it had been the best workshop in the universe, me sitting in a circle of people talking for two days makes me feel my entire life is on hold and I'll never break free. How many times did I want to say the stupid thing, but held back or said something sensible "for the good of the order." Meanwhile, what about my dis-order, the feeling of holding back wild horses all the time. Sigh.
The trick is to know what is completely different and socially acceptable, or at least the consequences of which are acceptable to oneself. A life's work perhaps?
Monday, July 6, 2009
stuck in the middle with you
We're blogging about being stuck at daily headspa this week. I'm feeling so stuck, I'm stuck with nothing to say about being stuck. Except that stuck sucks.
I could think about what it takes for me to get unstuck. Some of it is so passive: something needs to happen that draws me out. But that makes me feel, well, passive. And stuck.
We played tennis again today. Movement and thinking about some one thing, like this shot and that one and the next, helps me get unstuck.
Sometimes I wish I would remember the magic of movement when I'm feeling stuck and there's a pile of dishes to be done or one thing on the to-do list that could be knocked off in a few minutes. When I'm stuck, it feels like if I do anything it won't be the right thing so I wait until I know what the right thing to do is but the stuck feeling blocks my perception. Perhaps sometimes doing something is in fact the better move.
Action-reflection-action...some kind of unstuck formula in there I think.
I could think about what it takes for me to get unstuck. Some of it is so passive: something needs to happen that draws me out. But that makes me feel, well, passive. And stuck.
We played tennis again today. Movement and thinking about some one thing, like this shot and that one and the next, helps me get unstuck.
Sometimes I wish I would remember the magic of movement when I'm feeling stuck and there's a pile of dishes to be done or one thing on the to-do list that could be knocked off in a few minutes. When I'm stuck, it feels like if I do anything it won't be the right thing so I wait until I know what the right thing to do is but the stuck feeling blocks my perception. Perhaps sometimes doing something is in fact the better move.
Action-reflection-action...some kind of unstuck formula in there I think.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
playing at presence
Saturdays on the daily headspa blog are about playing with the theme of the week. We've posted a really great little video of some people playing on gymnastic rings set up in Venice Beach, CA (at least, that's where it looks like they are).
I love play and yet sometimes I can't figure out why people do the things they do for the sake of doing them. I have never been a "hobby" sort of person. There is something so great about losing yourself in something that is essentially non-productive. Today we played tennis. It isn't productive. I'm not going to be the next Venus Williams. It was exercise, and it produced great endorphins and a sense of well-being (and some frighteningly sore muscles that promise more pain to come). But it was really just fun.
I wasn't present at every shot. Sometimes I thought about how I'd forgotten that tennis has been part of my life for a long time. Back in the day, I took lessons at a club. And played at summer camp. And on the high school team. How can you forget all of that? So I spent some time walking to pick up a stray ball wondering about all of that, remembering those feelings. And feeling the way I used to when the sea breeze picked up back home and brought that salty sunshiney smell across the courts, just like tonight here.
Every once in a while, in the sweet spot, I was totally there. And that was good enough. For Now.
I love play and yet sometimes I can't figure out why people do the things they do for the sake of doing them. I have never been a "hobby" sort of person. There is something so great about losing yourself in something that is essentially non-productive. Today we played tennis. It isn't productive. I'm not going to be the next Venus Williams. It was exercise, and it produced great endorphins and a sense of well-being (and some frighteningly sore muscles that promise more pain to come). But it was really just fun.
I wasn't present at every shot. Sometimes I thought about how I'd forgotten that tennis has been part of my life for a long time. Back in the day, I took lessons at a club. And played at summer camp. And on the high school team. How can you forget all of that? So I spent some time walking to pick up a stray ball wondering about all of that, remembering those feelings. And feeling the way I used to when the sea breeze picked up back home and brought that salty sunshiney smell across the courts, just like tonight here.
Every once in a while, in the sweet spot, I was totally there. And that was good enough. For Now.
Friday, July 3, 2009
isn't it ironic
Is this ironic: this morning I was gardening and listening to a podcast about being in the present moment through meditation. I'm wondering about the irony of doing two things at once, one of which (gardening) lends itself completely to the topic of the other (meditation). So I was neither gardening nor meditating, but some other thing that is a conflagration of these. Oh my.
Being in the present moment is our topic this week at daily headspa.
Being in the present moment is our topic this week at daily headspa.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
present moment fireworks
On daily headspa, we're blogging this week about being in the present moment.
Today is Territory Day in the Northern Territory of Australia, a day marked with copious amounts of fireworks. You can only buy fireworks up here for the few days leading up to today. I have no idea how long people save up the cash to buy the stockpiles they do.
It's challenging to settle into the present moment with bangs coming from nowhere and everywhere all at once!
No different than thoughts, really. Not that my thoughts are as exciting as fireworks, but they are just as random and just as distracting.
I played tennis today, which is a fantastic present moment activity. I love the concentration of it. In that sweet spot moment, all is now and I'm totally present. Sweet indeed.
Today is Territory Day in the Northern Territory of Australia, a day marked with copious amounts of fireworks. You can only buy fireworks up here for the few days leading up to today. I have no idea how long people save up the cash to buy the stockpiles they do.
It's challenging to settle into the present moment with bangs coming from nowhere and everywhere all at once!
No different than thoughts, really. Not that my thoughts are as exciting as fireworks, but they are just as random and just as distracting.
I played tennis today, which is a fantastic present moment activity. I love the concentration of it. In that sweet spot moment, all is now and I'm totally present. Sweet indeed.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
thinking spaces
Make a Smilebox postcard |
I had fun creating this little game for the daily headspa blog. Paul posted quotes from each of the famous architects whose work is featured in the little slideshow from Smilebox.
We're talking about "the space we make" on daily headspa this week. Just before posting this, I was sitting and having a cup of tea in the lovely space we've been given to live in while we work here in Darwin. The house is on stilts, with louvred windows. Each window frames a vision of tropical green growth, somewhere half-way up the palms and right in line with the bulk of the frangiapani and mango trees. The early evening light was coming through the slats of the windows, making it all golden on the dark jarrah wood floors. Very peaceful, very lovely. It is a privilege to make this space our place for a time.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
is it empty?
In the explorations of "empty" we've been doing this week at daily headspa, we've been putting empty up there as a good thing. Empty space between structures - good thing called "Ma" in Japanese. Empty space that helps you appreciate what is there when you put it back.
And I've been reading Eckhart Tolle's book "New Earth" during this week, which is all about emptying the ego and being present to the Power of Now (not incidentally the title of his other book, the one that Oprah really loves...because Oprah loves him you've probably heard lots about him but I provide the link anyway)
And (as if my brain was full enough on empty), I've been continuing to think and dream about a readers' retreat that we'll run sometime in the future.
So it all adds up to this living question: what makes this dream not an empty dream? (because an empty dream is not a positive thing in my mind)
To me, what makes this not an empty dream is what it is doing for me in the present moment, on two levels.
1. even if that particular dream in the future never becomes the now, the growing and knowing of it now is a real thing, and fulfilling
2. dreaming, and some of the anxiety it provokes (will it ever happen? am I smart enough to "make" it happen? what does the future hold for me anyway?), is an opportunity for present moment awareness if I realize what I'm doing. Awareness is the key to presence
So I'm going to bed now to dream full dreams...
And I've been reading Eckhart Tolle's book "New Earth" during this week, which is all about emptying the ego and being present to the Power of Now (not incidentally the title of his other book, the one that Oprah really loves...because Oprah loves him you've probably heard lots about him but I provide the link anyway)
And (as if my brain was full enough on empty), I've been continuing to think and dream about a readers' retreat that we'll run sometime in the future.
So it all adds up to this living question: what makes this dream not an empty dream? (because an empty dream is not a positive thing in my mind)
To me, what makes this not an empty dream is what it is doing for me in the present moment, on two levels.
1. even if that particular dream in the future never becomes the now, the growing and knowing of it now is a real thing, and fulfilling
2. dreaming, and some of the anxiety it provokes (will it ever happen? am I smart enough to "make" it happen? what does the future hold for me anyway?), is an opportunity for present moment awareness if I realize what I'm doing. Awareness is the key to presence
So I'm going to bed now to dream full dreams...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
oh to be empty
I would like to be empty of:
1. vague and nameless anxieties
So, I'm practicing awareness and presence. When I get those wobbly feelings, I notice them. It does seem to dissipate simply by observation. Then I get to say whether I want to hang onto them or not. And since I don't, I don't.
Well, that's the idea anyway. It does work, when I remember to do it. So I am feeling emptier.
1. vague and nameless anxieties
So, I'm practicing awareness and presence. When I get those wobbly feelings, I notice them. It does seem to dissipate simply by observation. Then I get to say whether I want to hang onto them or not. And since I don't, I don't.
Well, that's the idea anyway. It does work, when I remember to do it. So I am feeling emptier.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
among the many satisfying things
satisfying things in my world today:
1. a decent run for an old lady with arthritis
2. beer after run
3. the meeting ended
4. reading a good email from a friend describing how she spent her birthday beautifully
5. seeing an old friend and being reminded of a beautiful place and time
These are some of the things that keep the strangely persistent sense of gloom at bay. What on earth is that thing, anyway? It's like I can't see the forest for the trees right now or something. But these are good trees, so that is some consolation and I appreciate it.
According to buddhism we are both awakening and ignorance, not necessarily in equal measure but they do seem to slosh around together inside me in varying mixtures. Satisfaction for me has something to do with getting that mix to be lean enough to run smoothly. Clearer, cleaner mindfulness with less ignorance. In each moment, I adjust as I am able.
so I rambling into Saturday night...
1. a decent run for an old lady with arthritis
2. beer after run
3. the meeting ended
4. reading a good email from a friend describing how she spent her birthday beautifully
5. seeing an old friend and being reminded of a beautiful place and time
These are some of the things that keep the strangely persistent sense of gloom at bay. What on earth is that thing, anyway? It's like I can't see the forest for the trees right now or something. But these are good trees, so that is some consolation and I appreciate it.
According to buddhism we are both awakening and ignorance, not necessarily in equal measure but they do seem to slosh around together inside me in varying mixtures. Satisfaction for me has something to do with getting that mix to be lean enough to run smoothly. Clearer, cleaner mindfulness with less ignorance. In each moment, I adjust as I am able.
so I rambling into Saturday night...
Thursday, April 16, 2009
complete satisfaction
I am completely satisfied with the dinner I just ate: leftover potato salad, haloumi cheese, beer.
I am completely satisfied with the meeting I just attended: turns out there are many more people opposed to the new marina development that will destroy a gorgeous section of mangroves than for it: that is satisfying to me and the process of community consultation is satisfying.
I am completely satisfied with the card we got in the mail from a dear friend today. Love snail mail (this card actually had a picture of a banana slug on it, but close enough.)
I am completely satisfied with a busy day coming to a quiet close. One more meeting tonight at 8:00 p.m. and then off to..
I am completely satisfied with the new mattress I bought yesterday.
May your list of complete satisfactions be long...
I am completely satisfied with the meeting I just attended: turns out there are many more people opposed to the new marina development that will destroy a gorgeous section of mangroves than for it: that is satisfying to me and the process of community consultation is satisfying.
I am completely satisfied with the card we got in the mail from a dear friend today. Love snail mail (this card actually had a picture of a banana slug on it, but close enough.)
I am completely satisfied with a busy day coming to a quiet close. One more meeting tonight at 8:00 p.m. and then off to..
I am completely satisfied with the new mattress I bought yesterday.
May your list of complete satisfactions be long...
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
no satisfaction
In actual fact, I don't know what was satisfying today. I'm supposed to be posting about one satisfying thing in my day to go along with our "satisfaction" topic at daily headspa this week. Today's post over there was "no satisfaction" and that rather fits my day.
It was a day of doing things that needed to be done - US taxes, sorting out some other money things, buying new mattresses because every day on the old ones we wake up more tired than the last. We had a chance to talk through a project at work with a colleague. That was good.
Of course I am grateful to have the money to buy those mattresses; to have money to sort out; to have earned money on which to pay taxes. I'm grateful to have been able to do things - health, safety, abilities intact.
But what was doing all of that stuff satisfying?
What would have been satisfying?
1. completing a project - oh, wait, I did mail off an article that was due today so right on time
2. creating something beautiful
3. laughing with a friend
4. reaping some reward from a previous effort
5. solving a puzzle
6. discovering somewhere
7. making something myself so I can unhook a bit more from the money trap
the satisfying thing today? being satisfied with no satisfaction.
It was a day of doing things that needed to be done - US taxes, sorting out some other money things, buying new mattresses because every day on the old ones we wake up more tired than the last. We had a chance to talk through a project at work with a colleague. That was good.
Of course I am grateful to have the money to buy those mattresses; to have money to sort out; to have earned money on which to pay taxes. I'm grateful to have been able to do things - health, safety, abilities intact.
But what was doing all of that stuff satisfying?
What would have been satisfying?
1. completing a project - oh, wait, I did mail off an article that was due today so right on time
2. creating something beautiful
3. laughing with a friend
4. reaping some reward from a previous effort
5. solving a puzzle
6. discovering somewhere
7. making something myself so I can unhook a bit more from the money trap
the satisfying thing today? being satisfied with no satisfaction.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
self satisfied?
Our post at daily headspa looking closely at the notion of self-satisfaction has me wondering if my entry here today ought to be about something I'm satisfied with in myself today. Or is that too hard to claim?
I'll give it a try.
I am satisfied with the way I clarified something in a meeting today at work. Instead of letting a questionable assumption about who was going to do what just hang there, when I could feel it was muddying the waters (mine at least) I spoke up. Like I would probably have experienced in many other (most?) workplaces, I felt a real pressure to let it slide and not show my ignorance. But I figured it was better to clear it up now then when expectations aren't met down the road or I step on somebody's turf by accident. I feel satisfied with myself for braving it.
Whew. That's it then.
I'll give it a try.
I am satisfied with the way I clarified something in a meeting today at work. Instead of letting a questionable assumption about who was going to do what just hang there, when I could feel it was muddying the waters (mine at least) I spoke up. Like I would probably have experienced in many other (most?) workplaces, I felt a real pressure to let it slide and not show my ignorance. But I figured it was better to clear it up now then when expectations aren't met down the road or I step on somebody's turf by accident. I feel satisfied with myself for braving it.
Whew. That's it then.
Monday, April 13, 2009
satisfaction 101
We're blogging about satisfaction at daily headspa this week. I'm going to think about it everyday...and write about each day's little (or big) satisfactions here. Whatcha got? You can join in!
Today's satisfaction: canoeing the mangroves with our friend Bill.
Later in the week I'm hoping to attend a meeting to learn more about a proposed development that will build over/eliminate the particular area of this distinctive ecosystem where I was canoeing today. I am going to dream tonight of how sweet the satisfaction would be if that development plan was stopped by the power of the people.
Because today it was so incredibly satisfying to look at trees from the angle of gliding over the top of them in salt water. I mean, is this not the most amazing plant in the world? Well, pretty amazing anyway. Or what about the satisfaction of spotting that kingfisher amongst the branches and leaves? Or fairy gliding the canoe on the outgoing tide to take us across the river back to the landing? Or watching and waiting to see if that flock of red tailed black cockatoos would really fly right over the top of us. Or the sound of the splash when the sting ray jumped and only Bill saw it.
The satisfaction of knowing that this world amongst the mangroves has nothing to do with me, the human. It is its own world and is intrinsically meaningful because it exists not because someday it might be a marina. Maybe saving this place will be as complicated as finding our way out of the tangle of trees this morning, but it would be very satisfying indeed.
Today's satisfaction: canoeing the mangroves with our friend Bill.
Later in the week I'm hoping to attend a meeting to learn more about a proposed development that will build over/eliminate the particular area of this distinctive ecosystem where I was canoeing today. I am going to dream tonight of how sweet the satisfaction would be if that development plan was stopped by the power of the people.
Because today it was so incredibly satisfying to look at trees from the angle of gliding over the top of them in salt water. I mean, is this not the most amazing plant in the world? Well, pretty amazing anyway. Or what about the satisfaction of spotting that kingfisher amongst the branches and leaves? Or fairy gliding the canoe on the outgoing tide to take us across the river back to the landing? Or watching and waiting to see if that flock of red tailed black cockatoos would really fly right over the top of us. Or the sound of the splash when the sting ray jumped and only Bill saw it.
The satisfaction of knowing that this world amongst the mangroves has nothing to do with me, the human. It is its own world and is intrinsically meaningful because it exists not because someday it might be a marina. Maybe saving this place will be as complicated as finding our way out of the tangle of trees this morning, but it would be very satisfying indeed.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
indelible places
Usually on Saturdays at daily headspa we have a bit of a lark with the weekly topic. We've been digging into it, doing things with it all week and it's time for a bit of fun.
Researching sense of place, this week's daily headspa topic, we came across the fact that this Saturday is the anniversary of the liberation of Buchenwald concentration camp in 1945.
The author Elie Wiesel was a prisoner there and that place shaped his entire existence. His mission and purpose in life is to remember it and to tell its story. He brings his readers not only into that experience, most particularly in his haunting book "Night," but also into all the questions about life, evil, God, the very nature of existence that this reality fused into his being.
We felt it was worth the departure from our norm for Saturdays. There's a connection here to our core mission, expressed lightly in the daily headspa mantra, "enjoy yourself." We firmly believe that people at peace within themselves, at the deepest levels, recognize their interdependence with all of life and that recognition has the power to prevent another Buchenwald; to bring liberation to the Buchenwald situations around the world today. Yeah, what we do is fun, but it's serious fun.
Researching sense of place, this week's daily headspa topic, we came across the fact that this Saturday is the anniversary of the liberation of Buchenwald concentration camp in 1945.
The author Elie Wiesel was a prisoner there and that place shaped his entire existence. His mission and purpose in life is to remember it and to tell its story. He brings his readers not only into that experience, most particularly in his haunting book "Night," but also into all the questions about life, evil, God, the very nature of existence that this reality fused into his being.
We felt it was worth the departure from our norm for Saturdays. There's a connection here to our core mission, expressed lightly in the daily headspa mantra, "enjoy yourself." We firmly believe that people at peace within themselves, at the deepest levels, recognize their interdependence with all of life and that recognition has the power to prevent another Buchenwald; to bring liberation to the Buchenwald situations around the world today. Yeah, what we do is fun, but it's serious fun.
Friday, April 10, 2009
knowing me by my place
The homepage of our website, daily headspa, is always a photograph of the day's calendar page. On one post-it-note on the page is a quote relating to the topic of the week; on another is a link to the main blog where we do different things with the weekly topic for every day of the week: Mondays introduce it, Tuesdays get into it a bit, Wednesdays really dig in, Thursdays do something about it, Fridays go out looking for it, Saturdays have fun with it, and Sundays make some sacred space around it.
On yesterday's homepage post-it-note quote, I used a quote from Mark Strand. I was really happy to come across a quote by this contemporary American poet because he links me to a couple of places that are important to my story.
Strand went to college with my parents at a place called Antioch College in Yellow Springs, Ohio. It was a place of myth and legend in the family because of how it shaped my parents lives. They met there. They were there at a pivotal time in history, the time of Korean vets on the GI bill and co-op jobs in New York City and Detroit when those cities were both full of jazz and bustle.
I made a pilgrimage there with my dad a couple of years before he died. Paul and I were living in Cleveland and dad came up for his birthday in August. Summers in Ohio are perfect for road trips; all green leaves and blue skies. We called in a Ye Olde Trail Tavern for a beer, home to dad's famous pizza making feats of old. And we caught up with a good friend of theirs, a woman named Sue Clauser who wrote "A Girl Named Sooner" and screenplays for the show "Bonanza." She also told us about traveling the world on freighters, and the time she wrote the screenplay for a Johnny Cash movie about an illiterate man. The Man in Black used to call the house to sing to her, checking to see what she thought of the lyrics for songs for the movie. I remember her sun porch, a cool drink, and the stories.
I knew Strand went to Antioch but I didn't know he also went to Yale, one of my old haunts. That place shaped my life every bit as much as Antioch shaped mom and dad's, but for different reasons. I didn't make pizzas there, but I ate plenty of them. I'm not feeling particularly nostalgic about the old ivy-covered walls but maybe that's because I remember it in the spring and fall, two seasons that we don't get here in the tropics. That place opened doors for me that I never thought were possible...this place I'm at now is somehow because of it. And that's good enough to look back on it with a smile.
On yesterday's homepage post-it-note quote, I used a quote from Mark Strand. I was really happy to come across a quote by this contemporary American poet because he links me to a couple of places that are important to my story.
Strand went to college with my parents at a place called Antioch College in Yellow Springs, Ohio. It was a place of myth and legend in the family because of how it shaped my parents lives. They met there. They were there at a pivotal time in history, the time of Korean vets on the GI bill and co-op jobs in New York City and Detroit when those cities were both full of jazz and bustle.
I made a pilgrimage there with my dad a couple of years before he died. Paul and I were living in Cleveland and dad came up for his birthday in August. Summers in Ohio are perfect for road trips; all green leaves and blue skies. We called in a Ye Olde Trail Tavern for a beer, home to dad's famous pizza making feats of old. And we caught up with a good friend of theirs, a woman named Sue Clauser who wrote "A Girl Named Sooner" and screenplays for the show "Bonanza." She also told us about traveling the world on freighters, and the time she wrote the screenplay for a Johnny Cash movie about an illiterate man. The Man in Black used to call the house to sing to her, checking to see what she thought of the lyrics for songs for the movie. I remember her sun porch, a cool drink, and the stories.
I knew Strand went to Antioch but I didn't know he also went to Yale, one of my old haunts. That place shaped my life every bit as much as Antioch shaped mom and dad's, but for different reasons. I didn't make pizzas there, but I ate plenty of them. I'm not feeling particularly nostalgic about the old ivy-covered walls but maybe that's because I remember it in the spring and fall, two seasons that we don't get here in the tropics. That place opened doors for me that I never thought were possible...this place I'm at now is somehow because of it. And that's good enough to look back on it with a smile.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Some Days are More Zen than Others
Some days on daily headspa are more zen than others. Paul's poem on today's post, This is Where I Live, This is What I Do, has the flavor of a mantra, or the type of mindfulness reminder of place and moment that you'd find in meditation. I'm glad he wrote it and that I was reminded of it today when I needed it. That's the way with spiritual disciplines, they are practices; things one needs to encounter over and over not because you've forgotten or are unable to learn but because the act of encounter and re-encounter is an end in itself even as it is a pathway to a place both familiar and always new.
I was delighted to find the quote by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings to post on the homepage of daily headspa today. Rawlings wrote "The Yearling." Not as flashy as the books by the more current JK Rowling, but it did win a Pulitzer Prize in 1939.
My connection to Rawlings is through a place, her place in Florida. Here's what wikipedia has to say about it:
My brother and I went to the University of Florida which is in nearby Gainesville. Our family went out to the Yearling Restaurant once, a dark-paneling sort of place more cracker shack than eatery. More like a fish camp, really (fish camps are a middle Florida institution; rickety old places covered in Spanish moss and creaking with the tales of old fishermen). While we were there the power went out. I remember filling up on Sprite while we waiting for light to eat by. And I remember eating "cooter" or turtle. Mostly, I remember being there as a family, having a tiny adventure together in this exotic place off the beaten track at a time when the family connection was stretched as far as it ever had been...we kids were moving on and we wouldn't be back again.
I was delighted to find the quote by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings to post on the homepage of daily headspa today. Rawlings wrote "The Yearling." Not as flashy as the books by the more current JK Rowling, but it did win a Pulitzer Prize in 1939.
My connection to Rawlings is through a place, her place in Florida. Here's what wikipedia has to say about it:
In 1928, with a small inheritance from her mother, the Rawlingses purchased a 72 acre (290,000 m²) orange grove near Hawthorne, Florida, in a hamlet named Cross Creek for its location between Orange Lake and Lochloosa Lake. She brought the place to international fame through her writing. She was fascinated with the remote wilderness and the lives of Cross Creek residents, her Cracker neighbors, and felt a profound and transforming connection to the region and the land.[6][7] Wary at first, the local residents soon warmed to her and opened up their lives and experiences to her. Marjorie filled several notebooks with descriptions of the animals, plants, Southern dialect, and recipes and used these descriptions in her writings.[8]
My brother and I went to the University of Florida which is in nearby Gainesville. Our family went out to the Yearling Restaurant once, a dark-paneling sort of place more cracker shack than eatery. More like a fish camp, really (fish camps are a middle Florida institution; rickety old places covered in Spanish moss and creaking with the tales of old fishermen). While we were there the power went out. I remember filling up on Sprite while we waiting for light to eat by. And I remember eating "cooter" or turtle. Mostly, I remember being there as a family, having a tiny adventure together in this exotic place off the beaten track at a time when the family connection was stretched as far as it ever had been...we kids were moving on and we wouldn't be back again.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Song of a Place
On the daily headspa blog we've just started a new weekly topic - sense of place is what we're looking into this week.
In the first post of the week today we brought up the way music connects us to place, using an interview from a program on Sunday night here in Australia with Lucinda Williams. You can read that excerpt, get to the vodcast with Lucinda, and find out more about Nacogdoches, Texas here at today's post on daily headspa.
In reflecting on the topic and the post myself tonight, I remembered this poem by Dennis Brutus: It's not a song, but it's title evokes the way music and memories of place are so often fused. Poetry is music anyway, eh?
Nightsong: City
Sleep well, my love, sleep well:
the harbour lights glaze over restless docks,
police cars cockroach through the tunnel streets;
from the shanties creaking iron-sheets
violence like a bug-infested rag is tossed
and fear is immanent as sound in the wind-swung bell;
the long day's anger pants from sand and rocks;
but for this breathing night at least,
my land, my love, sleep well.
The poem, which I found in a book I bought in one iconic place where I have lived, London, reminds me of another iconic place that is so very special to me, Alice Springs in the central desert of Australia. It's a place I want to sing to, a place of sand and rocks and violence and the day's long anger. It makes sense to me that the poet is a South African freedom fighter in terms of this connection to Alice, a place with its own still open wounds of struggle and colonial racism.
Dennis Brutus was imprisoned on Robben Island, where Nelson Mandela was also imprisoned. Tonight I am remembering a time of singing in Alice Springs, singing freedom songs in the community choir; songs about Robben Island. For me it was a time and place of great connection to other people, to the land, to a sense of place that, while not my own, nevertheless drew me in.
In the first post of the week today we brought up the way music connects us to place, using an interview from a program on Sunday night here in Australia with Lucinda Williams. You can read that excerpt, get to the vodcast with Lucinda, and find out more about Nacogdoches, Texas here at today's post on daily headspa.
In reflecting on the topic and the post myself tonight, I remembered this poem by Dennis Brutus: It's not a song, but it's title evokes the way music and memories of place are so often fused. Poetry is music anyway, eh?
Nightsong: City
Sleep well, my love, sleep well:
the harbour lights glaze over restless docks,
police cars cockroach through the tunnel streets;
from the shanties creaking iron-sheets
violence like a bug-infested rag is tossed
and fear is immanent as sound in the wind-swung bell;
the long day's anger pants from sand and rocks;
but for this breathing night at least,
my land, my love, sleep well.
The poem, which I found in a book I bought in one iconic place where I have lived, London, reminds me of another iconic place that is so very special to me, Alice Springs in the central desert of Australia. It's a place I want to sing to, a place of sand and rocks and violence and the day's long anger. It makes sense to me that the poet is a South African freedom fighter in terms of this connection to Alice, a place with its own still open wounds of struggle and colonial racism.
Dennis Brutus was imprisoned on Robben Island, where Nelson Mandela was also imprisoned. Tonight I am remembering a time of singing in Alice Springs, singing freedom songs in the community choir; songs about Robben Island. For me it was a time and place of great connection to other people, to the land, to a sense of place that, while not my own, nevertheless drew me in.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
curiosity commitments for the noncommital
I'm an Enneagram personality type #7, which is sometimes characterized (shall I say, "slandered") by other people's observation that we are "over- extended, scattered, and undisciplined."
Paul's "Curiosity Creed" that we posted at daily headspa today is a discipline even I can embrace. Because it's a commitment to variety, which is -especially for type 7's - the spice of life.
I have a number of commitments and disciplines in my life, actually. Every morning I remind myself of my core commitments with a little ritual. I turn to each of the four directions and do some basic chi gong or qigong exercises while reciting the following:
I live an unwavering commitment to (joy, truth & beauty, passion, pleasure)
I believe in (one of the above per direction)
I am ground in...
...is abundant
I offer...
I receive...
I honor...
I like doing the movements with this personal creed because it helps me be more mindful of what I'm saying. A lot of times, I don't know myself to be "grounded in joy" for example, but by saying it and moving mindfully, I remind myself of this aspiration.
I'll have to work curiosity into it now and again, like the 4th plinth.
Paul's "Curiosity Creed" that we posted at daily headspa today is a discipline even I can embrace. Because it's a commitment to variety, which is -especially for type 7's - the spice of life.
I have a number of commitments and disciplines in my life, actually. Every morning I remind myself of my core commitments with a little ritual. I turn to each of the four directions and do some basic chi gong or qigong exercises while reciting the following:
I live an unwavering commitment to (joy, truth & beauty, passion, pleasure)
I believe in (one of the above per direction)
I am ground in...
...is abundant
I offer...
I receive...
I honor...
I like doing the movements with this personal creed because it helps me be more mindful of what I'm saying. A lot of times, I don't know myself to be "grounded in joy" for example, but by saying it and moving mindfully, I remind myself of this aspiration.
I'll have to work curiosity into it now and again, like the 4th plinth.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Curious George (aka my dad)
On Saturdays on daily headspa, the idea is to have some fun with the weekly topic. The topic this week is curiosity so today I posted about two icons of curiosity: Curious George and Columbo.
My late father's name was George and he was a curious fellow, too. I mean he was odd and a bit quirky, but he was also curious about life and about other people. He especially liked curious characters. He peopled his world with eccentrics like Old Man Brown, a man who seemed to have always been in his late 90's who had more money than God but ran his empire of tug boats and waterfront land holdings from a seedy, mildewed office in a diesel soaked marina, tucked away in a polluted bayou off the bay. Or his roommate in college who came from a wealthy Indian family; his grandfather had "32 wives and a Rolls Royce for every one of them," I heard all through my childhood.
My dad had a curious aspiration in life, which I'm glad to say he accomplished. He wanted to be wealthy enough to not have to wear socks if he didn't want to. He drove the Rolls Royce he bought off of e-bay in deck shoes, sans socks.
I credit my dad in large part to my own sense of curiosity, especially about how things work. As I handed him tools at the boat yard, the truck yard, and the back yard, he passed along to me wisdom and wonder.
And he probably read me my first Curious George book, too.
My late father's name was George and he was a curious fellow, too. I mean he was odd and a bit quirky, but he was also curious about life and about other people. He especially liked curious characters. He peopled his world with eccentrics like Old Man Brown, a man who seemed to have always been in his late 90's who had more money than God but ran his empire of tug boats and waterfront land holdings from a seedy, mildewed office in a diesel soaked marina, tucked away in a polluted bayou off the bay. Or his roommate in college who came from a wealthy Indian family; his grandfather had "32 wives and a Rolls Royce for every one of them," I heard all through my childhood.
My dad had a curious aspiration in life, which I'm glad to say he accomplished. He wanted to be wealthy enough to not have to wear socks if he didn't want to. He drove the Rolls Royce he bought off of e-bay in deck shoes, sans socks.
I credit my dad in large part to my own sense of curiosity, especially about how things work. As I handed him tools at the boat yard, the truck yard, and the back yard, he passed along to me wisdom and wonder.
And he probably read me my first Curious George book, too.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
satisfying curiosity about curiosity a bit more
Tuesdays on the daily headspa blog focus on reading a bit more about the weekly topic. This week's topic is curiosity, one of those very lovable aspects of being human that can get lost along the way as we grow older and feel we have to grow up. Re-cultivating curiosity can be a great way to plug back into enjoying yourself.
The post over at daily headspa is an excerpt from one of those ezine articles pages.
In her article, Julia asks, "why is curiosity important?"
I'm curious - why is it important to you?
The post over at daily headspa is an excerpt from one of those ezine articles pages.
In her article, Julia asks, "why is curiosity important?"
I'm curious - why is it important to you?
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Further thoughts on Rhythm
We've just completed a week-long series on rhythm at daily headspa and David Rynick's post on finding rhythm from March 3, 2009 is a lovely reflection on the same. I love his line, "Just saying this eases the urge to run." And I appreciate the focus of his attention on the black handle of the shovel, the blue house, the snow - the things that are, as they are.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Updates, Links and Connections
We've launched the new blog at dailyheadspa so visit us there as well.
Here we will be doing some extras that correspond to the topics over there.
A great point of connection just happened this week. Our topic for the week has been rhythm. Another blogging friend posted some observations about the rhythms all around him on the same day we were posting about the same thing.
See David's post here. Look for the entry for February 26, 2009.
See our our dailyheadspa post here. Look for the entry for the same date.
David was writing from Costa Rica; we were writing from Darwin. It's all tropics, all the time! It's really fun to find points of connection across the world like this, but I guess that is the whole reality of the web. Beautiful when it works.
Please feel free to comment here or at dailyheadspa when you see points of connection like this, or send us links to other places that are on about the same things. Thanks, - see you around.
Here we will be doing some extras that correspond to the topics over there.
A great point of connection just happened this week. Our topic for the week has been rhythm. Another blogging friend posted some observations about the rhythms all around him on the same day we were posting about the same thing.
See David's post here. Look for the entry for February 26, 2009.
See our our dailyheadspa post here. Look for the entry for the same date.
David was writing from Costa Rica; we were writing from Darwin. It's all tropics, all the time! It's really fun to find points of connection across the world like this, but I guess that is the whole reality of the web. Beautiful when it works.
Please feel free to comment here or at dailyheadspa when you see points of connection like this, or send us links to other places that are on about the same things. Thanks, - see you around.
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